He still hasn't arrived

*RING*
*RING*
*RING*

"Hello."

"Oh hey Jen, I guess I fell asleep."

"No, he hasn't shown up yet."

*BEEP*

"Oh, this is him. I'll call you back."

"Where have you been? I've been worried sick...What? Who is this?"

"No, he's not married, I'm Carolyn, his girlfriend. What's wrong?"

"No, that's his sister. What happened?"

"OH NO! What hospital?"

"I'll call her we'll be right there."

"Elliot, *sniff* I'm sorry to call so late *sniff* I need you..."

Stood up?

JP should've been here an hour ago. I've tried to call but he isn't answering his cell. I called his sister, Jen and she hasn't heard from him either. I'm sure traffic is very heavy since he has to pass near Times Square. Still, that doesn't explain why he isn't answering the phone. He'll show up eventually, maybe.

Well tonight is the big night! I will be ringing in the New Year with JP and his family. I've never celebrated it in with someone special before, I hope it goes well! I really do love him. I think I forgot to mention-he told me on Christmas that he loves me. It took me by surprise, my first response was "Thank you". I know, he laughed too. When I realized what I did I blushed and said "I meant-I love you too". It was really very sweet.

On a side note: I will reach my 200th post soon, I'm thinking of doing something special for that. Oh great, I am becoming such a GEEK!

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"To love by freely giving is its own reward. To be possessed by love and to in turn give love away is to find the secret of abundant life"
*Gloria Gaither

I forgot to post anything the past couple of days, sorry! Things just got so busy with the holidays. My house guests left, FINALLY. Mike gets cranky when awaken from a 3 day nap. I had to use about 6 cans of Lysol to get rid of that smell. I don't even want to know what it was.
JP and I are supposed to go out for New Year's Eve. I think we are going to his sister's house. It should be fun. Not a lot going on between now and then. I should probably go check on Elliot, I haven't talked to him since the party.
How was everyone's Christmas? What did Santa bring you? When is Nomi coming back?

Merry Christmas Everyone

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The aftermath

I FINALLY got everything almost cleaned up. It didn't take as long as I thought it would. I still have two big stains, er make that two big pains in the living room. I knew Mike could sleep for days at a time but I didn't know John could too. I went to my family thing eariler when I got back they had moved positions so I know they are in fact alive. I check their pulse every couple of hours just to be sure. Mike's friend Millie called earlier. She is supposed to come by and scrape him off the couch but she can't come until tomorrow. I told her it was fine as long as she promised to pull John off the floor and take him too. I told her where the spare key was in case I wasn't home when she came. JP didn't want to leave with them still here.
"I can't believe you're jealous of John and Mike."
Well you dated one of them.
"I think the key there is DATED, which means in the past as in NOT now!"
You could still have feelings for him.
"Look we've had this discussion before. You have GOT to trust me or this will never work."
Yeah, I know, I guess I'm just tired. Sorry.
"Okay then. Go enjoy your family Christmas thing. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
Anyway, it's late, tomorrow is a busy day and I need rest.

The details

Thanks to everyone for coming to the party and thanks for keeping your pants on. All the guests seemed to have a good time, some more than others. ;) Everyone except Jack ended up staying over. I stole John's keys early on because he and Mike had started drinking before they got to the party. Drunken Munch looking for keys is quite funny. He never figured out where they went and finally just gave up and passed out on the floor.
I thought it would be difficult to get Elliot's keys but after a couple of drinks all I had to do was say "Hey, let me see your keys for a minute". I made sure I called Liv and Maureen and explained why he wouldn't be leaving the house. I think Liv was a little concerned until she heard him and JP singing in the background. She decided I could keep him until he sobered up. He sure is cranky when he wakes up by the way. He didn't remember much about the party. I don't think he even remembers that I DID wear the outfit or the mistletoe incident.
Dani didn't get drunk she just stayed to help me maintain order. She seemed to enjoy herself. She was a little nervous at first but after she realized Logan and Munch weren't dangerous just weird, she relaxed. I couldn't even begin to tell you some of the crazy-ass crap the two of them pulled.
JP wasn't too thrilled about Elliot showing up alone but he got over it. You should have seen the two of them, singing and dancing. It was great.
I had fun. I'm so glad I didn't cancel it. The house is a mess though. I really hope some of my friends decide to help me clean up. It will take an industrial cleaning. Here's a little incentive to get some help: I have pictures and I'm not afraid to use them.

The house is a mess, you don't even want to know what it smells like and I just stepped on someone in the middle of the floor. I guess that means the party was a success. I have a killer headache so I'm going back to bed. Will fill you in on details at a more decent hour.

Found a place for the mistletoe:

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It's almost time to PARTY!!!!!!!!!

I'm thinking about...

...wearing this to the party:

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Too much?

JP helped me get the house cleaned up and hang some decorations. He didn't want me to put up any mistletoe, not sure why. I wasn't in the mood to argue so I just didn't put any up. I made sure I have plenty of extra blankets and pillows in case Mike anyone drinks too much to leave. I woke up way too early, I just couldn't sleep. I'm so excited about the party, I'm like a kid at Christmas. I've got cookies in the oven. All the rest of the food is made. I have a vegetable tray, with no carrots; a meat tray; a cheese tray; some finger sandwiches; a cake and of course ice cream! Drinks are also taken care of. I made punch, I have apple cider and hot chocolate ready to heat up. Mike is bringing some "spirits" but I'm not sure if he will share them! Oh speaking of MIke, he is bringing Munch to the party. Mike & Munch drunk together is so funny to see. Jack never said for sure if he could make it but he said he would try. Elliot is coming, he wasn't sure if Liv would be able to though and I think Dani decided to come. It should be an interesting party. I think I'm winding down some, as soon as these cookies finish I am going to catch a nap.

Giving and receiving

Elliot dropped by unexpectedly last night. He brought me a very lovely necklace. As he put it around my neck and hugged me I closed my eyes and got lost in the feeling for a few minutes. He told me not to ever doubt how much my friendship meant to him. I tried not to cry as I thanked him. After he told me Merry Christmas I decided to give him his gift.
"Here, it's not as meaningful as the necklace but I hope you like it. I was told it is great for Irish Coffee."
Thanks Caro, I love it.

Confiance?

He says he does trust me but thought I would leave if he told me what happened. He says we need to talk but when I try, he doesn't want to hear it and leaves. Am I the only who thinks that doesn't make sense? I shouldn't have opened the door.
Back then I told myself nothing happened between us because he loved Liv. I guess knowing he kissed someone else made me feel like he just didn't find me desirable. I'll be honest it hurt my feelings. It doesn't matter. I have too many other things going on to worry about this now.

Busy, busy week. Thankfully JP is off Friday and he has agreed to help me get things cleaned up and ready. He even offered to help make some food, isn't that cute? I have to go shopping before Friday, that is really going to be stressful. I don't like shopping when it isn't busy, I sure enough hate it during this time of the year. Elliot keeps calling I should probably see what he wants. I certainly hope someone else is hosting the next party, I had forgotten how hard it was to get things together.

I have got so much to do before this party! I hope I can charm JP into helping clean the house. Just so everyone is clear: Naked Twister would be a direct violation of rule #1 below, sorry. If you want to play SHIRTLESS Twister that would be okay but everyone must keep their pants on at all times!
In case I failed to mention it: The party is Saturday night at 7pm and dress is casual. Again, feel free to come early and help set up. Might be a good idea to keep your beepers off too so you can't get called away to an emergency. I'd like to get a rough guess as to how many are coming so if you could let me know if you're planning on attending I would appreciate it.

Thought this was cute:

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Input please-

Anyone have any party suggestions? Such as: Entertainment, food to serve, or any other ideas for a successful party?
Thank you.

Party over here

I'm having the Christmas party this year. I think I must've still been drunk when I decided to do this. It'll be fun and JP will get to meet everyone. Oh yeah, you are all invited! I do have to set a few ground rules though:
1. Everyone must keep their pants on at all times during the festivities, MIKE!
2. I will furnish the ice cream. Do not try and slip any of that weird stuff in my house, ELLIOT!
3. If you are too drunk to drive you will NOT be allowed to leave. You will sleep it off at my house until sober, still keeping your pants on, MIKE!
4. If JP starts turning Irish, please stop giving him alcohol, ELLIOT!
5. If you spill it, clean it up. No trying to hide stains by strategically moving my plants to cover them.
6. If you have the urge to throw up aim for something other than my plants, JP!

These are just the rules for now, they are subject to change as I see fit. Other than ice cream, feel free to bring food or drinks. If anyone wants to help decorate or clean up after, let me know. I will post more details as it gets closer.

Alright already, I'll talk

No my perverted friends, we have NOT been making up for two days. We got dehydrated after the first day and had to take a break. ;) Hahaha!

Before we made up we had a HUGE fight. He was convinced there was something going on between Elliot and I.
"I've already told you he and I are just friends."
I just find it difficult to believe the two of you could be that close if nothing is going on. I mean look at you. How could he not be all over you?
"What are you talking about?"
You really don't know how gorgeous you are, do you?
"I am not."
Yes, you are. You amaze me. You are so wonderful and I can't imagine why you want to be with me.
"Whatever. Listen, it would be different if I hadn't always been up front and honest with you about my friendship with him."
I know, but...
"No, no buts. You can either accept the fact that my best friend is male and trust me, or you can find someone else. I will NOT be pressured by you or anyone to give up a friend because of your insecurities. I wouldn't expect you to do something like that. Do I make myself clear?"
He didn't say anything and I thought he was going to leave. I was on the verge of tears but I held strong. He moved close, put his hand softly on my face, gently kissed me and picked me up. I was a little startled. "JP?"
Shhhhhh, he said while kissing me again. He sat me on the bed and started removing my blouse...
The rest you'll just have to use your imagination. I wonder how weird it is that the first thought that crossed my mind was "I hope the sheets are clean"?

JP came by last night. We had a HUGE fight. Then after all the yelling and crying, we talked it out and made up. I'll give you more details about the entire situation later, right now I'm late for an appointment. I just thought everyone would like to know that we made up so now I'm happy again!

We can work it out...

...or can we?
JP finally called. I almost didn't answer because I was still not feeling well and in no mood for confrontation.
Hey, can we talk?
"This is really not the best time."
Why? Is HE there?
"Don't start that crap, I'm not in the mood."
Are you okay?
"Just freaking fabulous."
What's the matter?
"What's the difference?" (I know that was a bit harsh but my head was hurting, disabling my kindness factor.) He didn't say anything and I was getting sick again.
"Did you want something? If not, I really need to go."
Oh, okay. I just...Nevermind it can wait. I'll talk to you later.
"Fine, bye."
Caro?
"Yeah?"
I'm sorry.
click
Looks like another night without sleep.

The lost weekend

I feel like death today but it's my own fault so don't feel sorry for me. I'm not sure which one did me in: the Irish coffee (light on the coffee strong on the Irish) or the milk shake I made using "Baileys with a hint of caramel" instead of milk, seemed like a good idea at the time. Could have been a combination of the two. I know, save the lecture it was a stupid thing to do and I won't do it again. An entire weekend wasted. I sound like Logan. Oh well, too nauseous to cry over it now. I'll up date more later when my head stops pounding long enough for me to formulate a complete thought. Damn, I have GOT to get rid of that phone it is WAY too loud.

Through the long night

Well I've cried so much I think my tear ducts have dried up. I'm tired. My mind keeps replaying everything over and over which is making my head hurt. I thought I knew how to fix this but now I'm not so sure. I think I need to disappear for a day or two.

There's a tear in my beer

Elliot came by last night. He told me why JP was so upset. Right now I'm still in shock. The thing is I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong but I still feel this is all my fault. I know what would probably fix this but I can't do it. I need a drink in a BAD way.

Dazed and confused

Last night JP and I had just finished eating when Elliot dropped by. He hugged me, tighter than usual, and apologized for his quick departure from lunch the other day. I told him it was okay. I mean I do know how it is when work calls. JP invited him to join us for some wine. As I was in the process of getting the drinks they went outside. I have no idea what they talked about. When they came back in Elliot had decided to forego the wine. He hugged me again and told me I should tell JP how I feel. "I can't Elliot."
After he left JP seemed to be upset. He wouldn't look at me.
"What's wrong?"
I don't want to talk about it.
"Did you two have a fight?"
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
"Okay, calm down. We won't talk about it." This was the first time I have heard him raise his voice in anger. I'll be honest, it scared me a little. We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, I think it was probably no more than about five minutes. "JP, I there is something I need to tell you."
He looked up and said Don't bother. I'm sure I already know what it is. With that he gathered his things and left, slamming the door on the way out.
I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what happened. I tried to call him this morning. He didn't answer so I left a message. He hasn't returned my call. I tried to call Elliot too but he was out on a call.

Your Emoticon Is Smiling

Right now, you're feeling cheerful and content - without a care in the world.

What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?

You Are 72% Passionate, 28% Compassionate

You are very passionate, especially when it comes to love. In fact, it's sometimes difficult for you to tell between love and lust. You jump in head first, and figure things out later... usually when it's all over!

Is Your Love Style Passionate or Compassionate?

Strange days

I met Elliot for an early lunch today. We haven't got to hang out in a while. I missed him and I really needed to talk to him. We arrived at the same time and hugged hello. We engaged in small talk for a few minutes. Something appeared to be bothering him. "Everything okay Elliot?" Huh? Yeah, fine why? "You don't seem like yourself. JP said he noticed the same thing yesterday." Oh, is that why you wanted to have lunch? Because Danny Boy told you I had a problem? "Uh, no. If you'll recall, I asked you to lunch before you went out with JP. By the way, thanks for not sending him back drunk and Irish again." He laughed at that. I asked how Liv and the kids were. He assured me everything with them was fine. "So nothing is wrong then?" He hesitated briefly then told me everything was great. "I don't believe you but I'm not here to argue with you. I really need to talk you about a few things." I'm listening.
"I think I am in love." He tensed up when I said that. What was that all about?
Oh yeah? Anyone I know? I laughed, "Yes, I think you've met. I think I love JP and I'm scared Elliot." Why? "I haven't had the greatest luck with men. You of all people should know that." Did you tell him? "No. I can't. I'm an old-fashioned girl, I think the guy should say it first." And he hasn't? "No he hasn't." Interesting. I wonder what he meant by that. "I can't tell him, I don't know if he feels the same, and what if he thinks I'm moving too fast?" Calm down Caro. It'll be okay. You are a wonderful person and if he can't see that then you don't need him anyway. I really wanted to believe him but I didn't. "Thanks." Yeah sure, that's what I'm here for. "What is wrong with you?" NOTHING. I need a drink, you want one? "I haven't finished the one I have and I don't think you need another one."
He started to argue but then he didn't. I wouldn't worry about Danny Boy, you two seem very happy together. Then he mumbled something about JP taking me away. I didn't understand exactly what he said and he wouldn't repeat it. At that moment I realized what was bothering him. I reached over, put my hand on his and said "Elliot, I know what you're thinking and you are wrong." He pulled his hand away and gave me a confused look. "Don't look at me like that. You know what I'm talking about. I'm not going anywhere." What? "It doesn't matter who I'm dating or not dating. You are my best friend and I will always be here for you. We have been through so much together how could you possibly think that?" He didn't have a response, he just sat there playing with his food. We sat quietly for a few minutes until his phone rang. Judging by his end of the conversation it was work. I have to go, I'll talk to you later. It was the first time he didn't hug me or make any kind of touching gesture as he left. "Okay, be careful."
It was one of the strangest encounters I've had with him.

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever had a kiss that was so intense you lost the ability to form sentences?
I need to go he went to take his things home and should be back soon. I just wanted to take a minute and let you know he is back!!!!!!!!!!!!