Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
~~~~~~~~
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
~~~~~~~~
contemplating ecological issues
~~~~~~~~
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
~~~~~~~~
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
~~~~~~~~
and said: " Elegant Lady,
~~~~~~~~
I was once a handsome prince,
~~~~~~~~
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
~~~~~~~~
and I will turn back
~~~~~~~~
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
~~~~~~~~
grateful and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sauted frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't freakin think so
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Hey, a lot of stuff going on right now. I'll get back to real posts in a few days. Until then, enjoy another email I received...
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should start out dead and get it out of the way.
Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension,
then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get
ready for High School.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like
conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day,
and then, you finish off as an orgasm
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should start out dead and get it out of the way.
Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension,
then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get
ready for High School.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like
conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day,
and then, you finish off as an orgasm
Monday, August 28, 2006
Someone sent me this, I thought it was cute
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work
boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a
copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more
ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the
mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in
it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
From a friend of a friend
Posted with her permission
19 Ways A Guy Can Keep A Girl
1. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING.
[She won't trust you if you do & it'll be awkward]
2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other.
[She always gets butterflies when you do it; it makes her feel like you want her]
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
[It makes her feel like you really love her.]
4. Cuddle with her.
[She'll feel like your there for her]
5. Hug her from behind.
[It makes her feel special]
6. Write little notes.
[She smiles. They're cute; The end]
7. Compliment her honestly.
[No girl likes a liar and no girl likes a person who lies about it when you compliment her]
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
[It makes her feel wanted]
9. Be super sweet to her.
[All girls like a super sweet guy]
10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
[She'll go to bed with a smile]
11. Comfort her when she cries.
[She'll feel like you'll ALWAYS be there for her]
12.Wipe away her tears.
[It'll show you'll always be there]
13. Love her with all your heart.
[Not with your brain...or any other "organ" of your body]
14. Pick her up and flirt with her
(She'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it).
[It's true boys!]
15. Be a gentleman (Hold the door for her).
[Every girl loves a guy who is a gentleman]
16. DON'T let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her.
[Plus it'll make her feel like you aren't really there for her]
17. Take her for a long walk at night!
[She just wants to be alone. & that's not always bad. The world can be annoying sometimes & you just need to be alone]
18. When it's cold outside hold her close.
[You want her to be happy & she's happy in your arms]
19. Draw on or rub her back as she is tryin to rest or sleep.
[This just feels good HAHA!] {Not with a pen you idiot, with your finger!}
Girls - repost this if you think it's sweet!
Guys - repost this if you would do any of it!
19 Ways A Guy Can Keep A Girl
1. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING.
[She won't trust you if you do & it'll be awkward]
2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other.
[She always gets butterflies when you do it; it makes her feel like you want her]
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
[It makes her feel like you really love her.]
4. Cuddle with her.
[She'll feel like your there for her]
5. Hug her from behind.
[It makes her feel special]
6. Write little notes.
[She smiles. They're cute; The end]
7. Compliment her honestly.
[No girl likes a liar and no girl likes a person who lies about it when you compliment her]
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
[It makes her feel wanted]
9. Be super sweet to her.
[All girls like a super sweet guy]
10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
[She'll go to bed with a smile]
11. Comfort her when she cries.
[She'll feel like you'll ALWAYS be there for her]
12.Wipe away her tears.
[It'll show you'll always be there]
13. Love her with all your heart.
[Not with your brain...or any other "organ" of your body]
14. Pick her up and flirt with her
(She'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it).
[It's true boys!]
15. Be a gentleman (Hold the door for her).
[Every girl loves a guy who is a gentleman]
16. DON'T let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her.
[Plus it'll make her feel like you aren't really there for her]
17. Take her for a long walk at night!
[She just wants to be alone. & that's not always bad. The world can be annoying sometimes & you just need to be alone]
18. When it's cold outside hold her close.
[You want her to be happy & she's happy in your arms]
19. Draw on or rub her back as she is tryin to rest or sleep.
[This just feels good HAHA!] {Not with a pen you idiot, with your finger!}
Girls - repost this if you think it's sweet!
Guys - repost this if you would do any of it!
Friday, August 25, 2006
Lessons in leadership
Or more aptly: Four hours of my life I'll never get back.
I was deep in thought ,trying to remember what possessed me to sign up for one of these things, when I felt someone sit next to me. I didn't look up because I wasn't really in the mood for meeting new people. Then I hear Let's get out of here. I jumped and turned to give this bold person a piece of my mind and was pleasntly surpirsed to see Elliot. He is the last person I expected to see here. I jokingly asked if he signed up for it because I KNOW he NEVER attends these things. I signed up before my decision to leave MCS. I attended anyway to get away from my desk for awhile. I was glad Elliot was there, even if he got me in trouble. I thought we were going to get sent to the principal's office for passing notes. And for the record the rookie did NOT ask me out. He asked if he needed to throw us out. Apparently he cared about the 14 points of quality leadership a lot more than we did. Finally it was over and we went to get a cup of coffee or 20 because we were like Night of the Living Dead after that session. We caught up on things. He told me how the kids were and how sorry he was that McCoy and I didn't work out. I told him I would call Benson one day and gave him a hard time about not trusting me to keep the baby for an entire weekend. "You know, I helped raise my sister's kids and all of them survived. Well there was this one incident with the smallest one but it wasn't my fault." That got a cute look from him. "I was joking Elliot. Nothing happened other than normal childhood activites." I also let him know I would help out anyway I could with Dickie. Then he went all sweet on me. Hugged me, told me how much he loves me. I teared up, maybe he didn't notice. It was time to leave soon after that. We said our goodbyes and parted ways.
I was deep in thought ,trying to remember what possessed me to sign up for one of these things, when I felt someone sit next to me. I didn't look up because I wasn't really in the mood for meeting new people. Then I hear Let's get out of here. I jumped and turned to give this bold person a piece of my mind and was pleasntly surpirsed to see Elliot. He is the last person I expected to see here. I jokingly asked if he signed up for it because I KNOW he NEVER attends these things. I signed up before my decision to leave MCS. I attended anyway to get away from my desk for awhile. I was glad Elliot was there, even if he got me in trouble. I thought we were going to get sent to the principal's office for passing notes. And for the record the rookie did NOT ask me out. He asked if he needed to throw us out. Apparently he cared about the 14 points of quality leadership a lot more than we did. Finally it was over and we went to get a cup of coffee or 20 because we were like Night of the Living Dead after that session. We caught up on things. He told me how the kids were and how sorry he was that McCoy and I didn't work out. I told him I would call Benson one day and gave him a hard time about not trusting me to keep the baby for an entire weekend. "You know, I helped raise my sister's kids and all of them survived. Well there was this one incident with the smallest one but it wasn't my fault." That got a cute look from him. "I was joking Elliot. Nothing happened other than normal childhood activites." I also let him know I would help out anyway I could with Dickie. Then he went all sweet on me. Hugged me, told me how much he loves me. I teared up, maybe he didn't notice. It was time to leave soon after that. We said our goodbyes and parted ways.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Too tired for something original, again
So I thought I would share another funny email. I promise I'll write a real post soon!
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Too tired for something original
So I thought I'd share an email I received.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
a Leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
Neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7 . If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple
of your payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
a Leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
Neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7 . If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple
of your payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
I ditched work and went to the Yankees game. It was hot and they got beat but I enjoyed myself. I LOVE watching the games live. There is nothing like it. Baseball, hotdogs, apple pie... Except I don't really like apple pie and I wasn't in the mood for a hotdog so I opted for baseball, nachos and ice cream.
Not much else going on. Work is busy but not overwhelming. Hmmm...tomorrow night is Friday, I wonder if I'll be cooking for my partner again? I was thinking it would be nice if he cooked for me this week BUT then I remembered what his apartment looked like last time I was there and decided it wasn't worth the risk. That was a joke Big Mike! I think that's all for now.
Oh I almost forgot: Elliot & Liv-Ayez un voyage merveilleux!
Not much else going on. Work is busy but not overwhelming. Hmmm...tomorrow night is Friday, I wonder if I'll be cooking for my partner again? I was thinking it would be nice if he cooked for me this week BUT then I remembered what his apartment looked like last time I was there and decided it wasn't worth the risk. That was a joke Big Mike! I think that's all for now.
Oh I almost forgot: Elliot & Liv-Ayez un voyage merveilleux!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Another one bites the dust...
I just think it's better this way Carolyn.
"If you say so, Jack."
It's just that I have no idea when my case load will get any better and I know I can't give you the kind of attention you deserve. It wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to wait around for me when I honestly don't know when I will have time to spend with you.
"It's okay, I understand. I enjoyed our time together."
Me too. I'll talk to you later, okay?
"Yep...bye"
click
"If you say so, Jack."
It's just that I have no idea when my case load will get any better and I know I can't give you the kind of attention you deserve. It wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to wait around for me when I honestly don't know when I will have time to spend with you.
"It's okay, I understand. I enjoyed our time together."
Me too. I'll talk to you later, okay?
"Yep...bye"
click
Sunday, August 13, 2006
The long and boring day...
Today seemed like the longest day ever. I don't know why either. Possibly because I was avoiding doing some things I needed to do? When I have to do things that I really don't want to do it is extremely hard to get motivated. I spent part of the day with my sister. I don't get to see her very often so it was nice to visit with her. We had lunch together and talked about some of the things going on in both our lives. She has a husband and children so there is always something going on with them. Band, ballgames, chorus, they stay pretty busy which is one of the reasons I don't see her much. After she left I was thinking about some of the things we talked about and how things look different depending on your perspective. I look at her with her family and wonder what it would be like if I had someone to come home to, care about, have care about me and all that. I've always thought she was lucky to find someone to have a family with. She looks at me and thinks I'm the lucky one because I only have myself to worry about. She tells people I am the smart one because I chose to stay single. See, two different perspectives...The grass is always greener?
Oh well, I should probably get some laundry done, I don't think my partner would like me to come to work without clothes. On second thought, it is Mike we're talking about, he wouldn't care or worse...he wouldn't even notice!
Oh well, I should probably get some laundry done, I don't think my partner would like me to come to work without clothes. On second thought, it is Mike we're talking about, he wouldn't care or worse...he wouldn't even notice!
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Just Because...
Babe, tomorrow's so far away
There's somethin' I just have to say
I don't think I could hide
What I'm feelin' inside
Another day
Knowin' I love you
And I - I'm gettin' too close again
I don't wanna see it end
If I tell you tonight
Will you turn out the light
And walk away
Knowin' I love you?
And, I feel like today's the day
I'm lookin' for the words to say
Do you wanna be free
Are you ready for me
To feel this way?
I don't wanna lose ya
So it may be too soon I know
The feelin' takes so long to grow
If I tell you today
Will you turn me away
And let me go?
I don't wanna lose you
And, feelin' the way I do
I don't wanna wait my whole life through
To say I'm in love with you
There's somethin' I just have to say
I don't think I could hide
What I'm feelin' inside
Another day
Knowin' I love you
And I - I'm gettin' too close again
I don't wanna see it end
If I tell you tonight
Will you turn out the light
And walk away
Knowin' I love you?
And, I feel like today's the day
I'm lookin' for the words to say
Do you wanna be free
Are you ready for me
To feel this way?
I don't wanna lose ya
So it may be too soon I know
The feelin' takes so long to grow
If I tell you today
Will you turn me away
And let me go?
I don't wanna lose you
And, feelin' the way I do
I don't wanna wait my whole life through
To say I'm in love with you
Livin' La Vida Logan
Mike came over to eat again. He asked if he could. Well first he tried to get me to go see Pirates with him, but I said no. "It's not that I don't want to go to the movie, I know what happens to you when you see anything about a pirate, Captain Mike Sparrow." After several minutes of pointless discussion about planks and booty, we agreed that I would cook, he would come over with ice cream and we would watch a DVD not about pirates.
I was just finishing up the food when he arrived without ice cream. "I only asked you to do one thing and you couldn't remember to do it?"
What can I say, I got stuff on my mind and I was already running late and we don't really have to have it.
"You're always late so I wouldn't have thought anything about it. There is a store around the corner, just go there while I get things finished here."
I don't want toooo. He whined. How about if we just do without?
"Okay, fine with me. How about you do without eating?"
That's fine, I don't have to eat.
"Suit yourself." I continued getting things ready while he pouted in the living room. A few minutes later I heard the door close. He just left without even saying bye. I made him mad, great just what I need and what am I supposed to do with all this food? I was getting ready to call him to apologize and ask him to come back when the door opened. It was him, ice cream in hand. I gave him my "what the heck" look. He smiled and said It smelled good and I'm starving.
We ate and talked. "So it's Friday night, want to tell me the real reason you wanted to hang out with me?"
I just thought it would be nice to spend time together.
"Oh. Okay then." Like I really believe that! "Don't you have an alleged girlfriend you should be spending time with?"
He ate more.
She had plans with some of her friends. Friday night is friend night and I chose you!
"Isn't that sweet?" Still not buying it. "So why didn't you just have a Munch adventure? You two always have fun."
He ate more.
Oh, you didn't hear? He and I aren't speaking. We got in another fight.
He said they had a disagreement about whether John had been in a Russian Gulag. "A very relevant argument. Sounds like something to not speak to your best friend about. Don't I feel special that you're spending time with me because the girlfriend is busy and you're fighting with your best friend?"
He finally finished eating and slowly made his way to the living room. He did not like my viewing choice: "Fine you want to watch something else, you go pick something out!" He tried to get up, but couldn't because he was too full.
All the way over there? On second thought, this is a great DVD.
We spent the rest of the evening watching "You can't fix stupid". He fell asleep before it was over. I left him on the couch and hoped he didn't decide to take his pants off. He has this thing about couches and pants. I would hate to have to buy a new couch. He wasn't here when I got up and neither were his pants. I took that as a good sign.
Lessons learned: If Mike is hungry and you have food...You have power. I should have made him clean the house. If Mike eats too much he will agree to whatever you say as long as no moving is required...You have power.
I was just finishing up the food when he arrived without ice cream. "I only asked you to do one thing and you couldn't remember to do it?"
What can I say, I got stuff on my mind and I was already running late and we don't really have to have it.
"You're always late so I wouldn't have thought anything about it. There is a store around the corner, just go there while I get things finished here."
I don't want toooo. He whined. How about if we just do without?
"Okay, fine with me. How about you do without eating?"
That's fine, I don't have to eat.
"Suit yourself." I continued getting things ready while he pouted in the living room. A few minutes later I heard the door close. He just left without even saying bye. I made him mad, great just what I need and what am I supposed to do with all this food? I was getting ready to call him to apologize and ask him to come back when the door opened. It was him, ice cream in hand. I gave him my "what the heck" look. He smiled and said It smelled good and I'm starving.
We ate and talked. "So it's Friday night, want to tell me the real reason you wanted to hang out with me?"
I just thought it would be nice to spend time together.
"Oh. Okay then." Like I really believe that! "Don't you have an alleged girlfriend you should be spending time with?"
He ate more.
She had plans with some of her friends. Friday night is friend night and I chose you!
"Isn't that sweet?" Still not buying it. "So why didn't you just have a Munch adventure? You two always have fun."
He ate more.
Oh, you didn't hear? He and I aren't speaking. We got in another fight.
He said they had a disagreement about whether John had been in a Russian Gulag. "A very relevant argument. Sounds like something to not speak to your best friend about. Don't I feel special that you're spending time with me because the girlfriend is busy and you're fighting with your best friend?"
He finally finished eating and slowly made his way to the living room. He did not like my viewing choice: "Fine you want to watch something else, you go pick something out!" He tried to get up, but couldn't because he was too full.
All the way over there? On second thought, this is a great DVD.
We spent the rest of the evening watching "You can't fix stupid". He fell asleep before it was over. I left him on the couch and hoped he didn't decide to take his pants off. He has this thing about couches and pants. I would hate to have to buy a new couch. He wasn't here when I got up and neither were his pants. I took that as a good sign.
Lessons learned: If Mike is hungry and you have food...You have power. I should have made him clean the house. If Mike eats too much he will agree to whatever you say as long as no moving is required...You have power.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Nothing very exciting today. Work was the same. The trip home was the same. I did buy lunch for an old friend today, that was kind of interesting. Did you know some guys freak out a bit when a woman buys them lunch? I didn't think it was such a big deal but I was wrong. C'est la vie où je suppose. As I was sitting here, I lost my train of thought, I need to go look for it. I hate it when that happens.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Well crud, my dinner plans got cancelled again. Good thing I have a relatively healthy ego. Since my evening is shot once more, I guess I will heat up some leftovers, then pop in a good cd and just try to relax. A nice relaxing bath would be wonderful, too bad I only have a shower. It's not quite the same. I should probably check on my ice cream stash too, make sure I have enough for an evening in. I hope so because I am in no mood to go shopping.
Oh and for the record, I HATE wanting something that I can't have!
Oh and for the record, I HATE wanting something that I can't have!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
In Dallas, TX, at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a
tight mini-skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it
was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too
tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of
the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this
would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the
step, only to discover that she couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to
unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the
step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip
a little more, and again was unable to take the step. About this
time, a large Texan who was standing behind her, picked her up
easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic, and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled,
"How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree
with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured
we was friends."
tight mini-skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it
was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too
tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of
the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this
would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the
step, only to discover that she couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to
unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the
step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip
a little more, and again was unable to take the step. About this
time, a large Texan who was standing behind her, picked her up
easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic, and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled,
"How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree
with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured
we was friends."
Monday, August 07, 2006
Can't think of a title
Just when I think I got things under control, a monkey-wrench gets thrown in to mess me up again. I really am okay though. People who read this probably think I am just the misery chick queen, but honest I'm not. Normally I am a very together person who is happy most of the time. On second thought, I am all that on the outside. I let things build up inside and share it here because this is my outlet. (It's cheaper than a shrink.) Besides, how boring would it be reading about someone who never had any problems?
Yesterday I had a cartoon marathon. It was great! Ice cream and Taz, you can't go wrong there! The only way it could've been better was if I would've had some company, but you can't have everything.
Today was okay. Too hot. Too much paperwork. Too little Jack. Pretty boring.
Yesterday I had a cartoon marathon. It was great! Ice cream and Taz, you can't go wrong there! The only way it could've been better was if I would've had some company, but you can't have everything.
Today was okay. Too hot. Too much paperwork. Too little Jack. Pretty boring.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Do I have to put a title?
I slept most of yesterday. Actually I would get up for a little while then go back to bed. Just one of those lazy days. Thank goodness I didn't get called into work because I definitely did not want to go. And now for something completely different...Not really completely different but I watched Monty Python last night and I wanted an opportunity to use that line. The situation is not that different exactly, but I've experienced some different feelings. That's probably not accurate either, I'm sure the feeling was there I just didn't realize it or chose to ignore it. Somedays I just feel stupid, or rather I feel like I want to do something that in the long run would be stupid. I didn't, but I sure wanted to and that bothers me. Doing the right thing has never been as painful as it was recently. Sadly, I'm not able to elaborate though I really should. I'd rather deal with it inwardly for the time being. Okay, I don't think I'm making much sense so I shall not so subtly change topics...
I had the weirdest dream last night. Bill Mumy, that kid from the original Lost in Space was in it, as an adult not a kid. It was just bizarre, why would he show up in my dream? I guess because I had seen a special about child stars that he was on. Paul Petersen from The Donna Reed Show was on the special too and HE didn't show up in my dream. It was a shame too because I had a HUGE crush on him growing up.
I haven't talked to Mike since we ate the other night. I haven't talked to Jack in a week but hopefully he and I are having coffee together in a day or two.
I think that's all. I hope it is anyway because my brain feels empty.
I had the weirdest dream last night. Bill Mumy, that kid from the original Lost in Space was in it, as an adult not a kid. It was just bizarre, why would he show up in my dream? I guess because I had seen a special about child stars that he was on. Paul Petersen from The Donna Reed Show was on the special too and HE didn't show up in my dream. It was a shame too because I had a HUGE crush on him growing up.
I haven't talked to Mike since we ate the other night. I haven't talked to Jack in a week but hopefully he and I are having coffee together in a day or two.
I think that's all. I hope it is anyway because my brain feels empty.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.
I wonder why it is seems so simple to fix other people's problems and so difficult to fix my own? Maybe it is all about perspective. I guess because it's easier to see the whole picture when it is someone else's problem?
Elliot for instance, can always makes me feel better about the things I'm going through. Even if only for a while. I hope the reverse is also true, that I make him feel better. It just floors me that he can be so insecure. I mean look at him: He is ALWAYS there when I need him. He is very smart, funny, and...at the risk of giving him a big head...he is very attractive. So why does he have such a hard time believing that Liv loves him and isn't going anywhere? Past demons I suppose. Once bitten, twice shy? For some reason I am always amazed when I see men struggling with self-esteem issues almost as much as I struggle with them.
I also wonder why the first thing the guys thought when I told them we needed to talk was "Are you pregnant?" Get real guys, if that was the case I'm sure I would need to tell someone else before I told you two.
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.
I wonder why it is seems so simple to fix other people's problems and so difficult to fix my own? Maybe it is all about perspective. I guess because it's easier to see the whole picture when it is someone else's problem?
Elliot for instance, can always makes me feel better about the things I'm going through. Even if only for a while. I hope the reverse is also true, that I make him feel better. It just floors me that he can be so insecure. I mean look at him: He is ALWAYS there when I need him. He is very smart, funny, and...at the risk of giving him a big head...he is very attractive. So why does he have such a hard time believing that Liv loves him and isn't going anywhere? Past demons I suppose. Once bitten, twice shy? For some reason I am always amazed when I see men struggling with self-esteem issues almost as much as I struggle with them.
I also wonder why the first thing the guys thought when I told them we needed to talk was "Are you pregnant?" Get real guys, if that was the case I'm sure I would need to tell someone else before I told you two.
Because stuff happens
Logan came over. I knew he would, like me he's not one to pass up a free home-cooked meal.
After the meal I served ice cream and Irish Coffee. Great combo don't you think?
"Mike, uh, I kind of need to tell you something."
He could tell I was struggling to get the words out. You're not pregnant are you?
"Aren't you cute? No, I'm not."
Just thought I'd check.
As unrealistic as that question was, it eased the tension and I was able to continue. Or was it that I was on my third Irish Coffee, light on the coffee? (Elliot's recipe of course) Whatever the reason I told him about my decision, one of the most difficult ones I have ever made. I struggled for quite a while before making up my mind. Logan being Logan, I can never really get a good read on him. I'm not sure if he was upset, relieved, confused or what.
"I wanted to make sure you heard it from me and not through the grapevine because I know what some people will probably think. I need you to know it has nothing to do with you. You are a great partner, detective and friend."
We talked for another few minutes. Thanks for the food and for letting me know. I'm meeting someone soon so I need to go.
"Getting some late-night lab work done?"
He gave me that smirk and left.
It went better than I thought it would. Next on the agenda is to let Elliot know. Maybe it isn't too late to call him.
Rats, got his voice-mail. "Hey, it's Barek. I need to talk to you when you have a chance. Thanks."
I won't be sleeping anytime soon so maybe he'll call back.
After the meal I served ice cream and Irish Coffee. Great combo don't you think?
"Mike, uh, I kind of need to tell you something."
He could tell I was struggling to get the words out. You're not pregnant are you?
"Aren't you cute? No, I'm not."
Just thought I'd check.
As unrealistic as that question was, it eased the tension and I was able to continue. Or was it that I was on my third Irish Coffee, light on the coffee? (Elliot's recipe of course) Whatever the reason I told him about my decision, one of the most difficult ones I have ever made. I struggled for quite a while before making up my mind. Logan being Logan, I can never really get a good read on him. I'm not sure if he was upset, relieved, confused or what.
"I wanted to make sure you heard it from me and not through the grapevine because I know what some people will probably think. I need you to know it has nothing to do with you. You are a great partner, detective and friend."
We talked for another few minutes. Thanks for the food and for letting me know. I'm meeting someone soon so I need to go.
"Getting some late-night lab work done?"
He gave me that smirk and left.
It went better than I thought it would. Next on the agenda is to let Elliot know. Maybe it isn't too late to call him.
Rats, got his voice-mail. "Hey, it's Barek. I need to talk to you when you have a chance. Thanks."
I won't be sleeping anytime soon so maybe he'll call back.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Busy day
I had lunch with some old friends today. I hadn't seen them in quite a while so it was nice to spend some time with them. I got to pick where we ate so naturally I went for the $29 hamburger at that French place. They were paying so what did I care!? I'm joking, we went Italian. We got caught up on all the latest gossip like who was single again and why. We made plans to be better about keeping in touch, but that never goes as well as we hope.
Mike is coming over to eat tonight so we can talk about a few things. I'm cooking, real smart thing to do when it is so hot out. Good thing I got a good air conditioner! As always, I'll let you know how things go.
McCoy has been working almost non-stop so I haven't seen him this week. We have played phone tag a couple of times this week but other than that, no contact.
Eh, I may just nix the meal and get Irish Coffee and ice cream.
Mike is coming over to eat tonight so we can talk about a few things. I'm cooking, real smart thing to do when it is so hot out. Good thing I got a good air conditioner! As always, I'll let you know how things go.
McCoy has been working almost non-stop so I haven't seen him this week. We have played phone tag a couple of times this week but other than that, no contact.
Eh, I may just nix the meal and get Irish Coffee and ice cream.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Lexophiles (LOVERS OF WORDS):
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21.A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but
a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21.A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but
a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Winds of change...
Major changes in the future for this detective. More details about that soon. I hope my friends will understand and support my decision. I know my dearest friends will.
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