Well crud, my dinner plans got cancelled again. Good thing I have a relatively healthy ego. Since my evening is shot once more, I guess I will heat up some leftovers, then pop in a good cd and just try to relax. A nice relaxing bath would be wonderful, too bad I only have a shower. It's not quite the same. I should probably check on my ice cream stash too, make sure I have enough for an evening in. I hope so because I am in no mood to go shopping.
Oh and for the record, I HATE wanting something that I can't have!

In Dallas, TX, at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a
tight mini-skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it
was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too
tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of
the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this
would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the
step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to
unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the
step. Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip
a little more, and again was unable to take the step. About this
time, a large Texan who was standing behind her, picked her up
easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic, and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled,
"How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree
with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured
we was friends."

Can't think of a title

Just when I think I got things under control, a monkey-wrench gets thrown in to mess me up again. I really am okay though. People who read this probably think I am just the misery chick queen, but honest I'm not. Normally I am a very together person who is happy most of the time. On second thought, I am all that on the outside. I let things build up inside and share it here because this is my outlet. (It's cheaper than a shrink.) Besides, how boring would it be reading about someone who never had any problems?
Yesterday I had a cartoon marathon. It was great! Ice cream and Taz, you can't go wrong there! The only way it could've been better was if I would've had some company, but you can't have everything.
Today was okay. Too hot. Too much paperwork. Too little Jack. Pretty boring.

Do I have to put a title?

I slept most of yesterday. Actually I would get up for a little while then go back to bed. Just one of those lazy days. Thank goodness I didn't get called into work because I definitely did not want to go. And now for something completely different...Not really completely different but I watched Monty Python last night and I wanted an opportunity to use that line. The situation is not that different exactly, but I've experienced some different feelings. That's probably not accurate either, I'm sure the feeling was there I just didn't realize it or chose to ignore it. Somedays I just feel stupid, or rather I feel like I want to do something that in the long run would be stupid. I didn't, but I sure wanted to and that bothers me. Doing the right thing has never been as painful as it was recently. Sadly, I'm not able to elaborate though I really should. I'd rather deal with it inwardly for the time being. Okay, I don't think I'm making much sense so I shall not so subtly change topics...
I had the weirdest dream last night. Bill Mumy, that kid from the original Lost in Space was in it, as an adult not a kid. It was just bizarre, why would he show up in my dream? I guess because I had seen a special about child stars that he was on. Paul Petersen from The Donna Reed Show was on the special too and HE didn't show up in my dream. It was a shame too because I had a HUGE crush on him growing up.
I haven't talked to Mike since we ate the other night. I haven't talked to Jack in a week but hopefully he and I are having coffee together in a day or two.
I think that's all. I hope it is anyway because my brain feels empty.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.

I wonder why it is seems so simple to fix other people's problems and so difficult to fix my own? Maybe it is all about perspective. I guess because it's easier to see the whole picture when it is someone else's problem?
Elliot for instance, can always makes me feel better about the things I'm going through. Even if only for a while. I hope the reverse is also true, that I make him feel better. It just floors me that he can be so insecure. I mean look at him: He is ALWAYS there when I need him. He is very smart, funny, and...at the risk of giving him a big head...he is very attractive. So why does he have such a hard time believing that Liv loves him and isn't going anywhere? Past demons I suppose. Once bitten, twice shy? For some reason I am always amazed when I see men struggling with self-esteem issues almost as much as I struggle with them.
I also wonder why the first thing the guys thought when I told them we needed to talk was "Are you pregnant?" Get real guys, if that was the case I'm sure I would need to tell someone else before I told you two.

Because stuff happens

Logan came over. I knew he would, like me he's not one to pass up a free home-cooked meal.
After the meal I served ice cream and Irish Coffee. Great combo don't you think?
"Mike, uh, I kind of need to tell you something."
He could tell I was struggling to get the words out. You're not pregnant are you?
"Aren't you cute? No, I'm not."
Just thought I'd check.
As unrealistic as that question was, it eased the tension and I was able to continue. Or was it that I was on my third Irish Coffee, light on the coffee? (Elliot's recipe of course) Whatever the reason I told him about my decision, one of the most difficult ones I have ever made. I struggled for quite a while before making up my mind. Logan being Logan, I can never really get a good read on him. I'm not sure if he was upset, relieved, confused or what.
"I wanted to make sure you heard it from me and not through the grapevine because I know what some people will probably think. I need you to know it has nothing to do with you. You are a great partner, detective and friend."
We talked for another few minutes. Thanks for the food and for letting me know. I'm meeting someone soon so I need to go.
"Getting some late-night lab work done?"
He gave me that smirk and left.
It went better than I thought it would. Next on the agenda is to let Elliot know. Maybe it isn't too late to call him.
Rats, got his voice-mail. "Hey, it's Barek. I need to talk to you when you have a chance. Thanks."
I won't be sleeping anytime soon so maybe he'll call back.

Busy day

I had lunch with some old friends today. I hadn't seen them in quite a while so it was nice to spend some time with them. I got to pick where we ate so naturally I went for the $29 hamburger at that French place. They were paying so what did I care!? I'm joking, we went Italian. We got caught up on all the latest gossip like who was single again and why. We made plans to be better about keeping in touch, but that never goes as well as we hope.
Mike is coming over to eat tonight so we can talk about a few things. I'm cooking, real smart thing to do when it is so hot out. Good thing I got a good air conditioner! As always, I'll let you know how things go.
McCoy has been working almost non-stop so I haven't seen him this week. We have played phone tag a couple of times this week but other than that, no contact.
Eh, I may just nix the meal and get Irish Coffee and ice cream.

Lexophiles (LOVERS OF WORDS):
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21.A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

NOTE: No trees were killed in the sending of this message, but
a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

Toon I received

Winds of change...

Major changes in the future for this detective. More details about that soon. I hope my friends will understand and support my decision. I know my dearest friends will.