Today seemed like the longest day ever. I don't know why either. Possibly because I was avoiding doing some things I needed to do? When I have to do things that I really don't want to do it is extremely hard to get motivated. I spent part of the day with my sister. I don't get to see her very often so it was nice to visit with her. We had lunch together and talked about some of the things going on in both our lives. She has a husband and children so there is always something going on with them. Band, ballgames, chorus, they stay pretty busy which is one of the reasons I don't see her much. After she left I was thinking about some of the things we talked about and how things look different depending on your perspective. I look at her with her family and wonder what it would be like if I had someone to come home to, care about, have care about me and all that. I've always thought she was lucky to find someone to have a family with. She looks at me and thinks I'm the lucky one because I only have myself to worry about. She tells people I am the smart one because I chose to stay single. See, two different perspectives...The grass is always greener?
Oh well, I should probably get some laundry done, I don't think my partner would like me to come to work without clothes. On second thought, it is Mike we're talking about, he wouldn't care or worse...he wouldn't even notice!
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4 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes, I wish I were married, kids- the white picket fence dream, but then, there are times, that I truly appreciate being "single". It's a double edged sword.
And you're right, hell, if Mike washed clothes, I'd be shocked.
Carolyn,
I completely understand being torn. There were so many times I looked at others with families so enviously. I wanted a loving husband, and kids for myself.
Then- would come the doubt. Knowing with my job, and history, I would be the last person that needed a family. In the blink of an eye, my life changed forever. I became a person I never thought I'd be- someone's mother.
There are so many benefits to both the single and "married" life. I know no matter what, great things will happen for you.
You WILL find what you are looking for and when you do, you might be totally surprised. Be patient, my friend.
Carolyn, hon, you must really be in a funk if you think Mike wouldn't notice if you turned up at work without clothes. Elliot's right. You will find what you're looking for - even if you're not entirely sure what that something is. It's not easy to be patient, but it'll happen eventually. Hopefully sooner, rather than later.
And, in the meantime, think of something you'd really like to do, and just go and do it. Have some fun!
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