Enough of that mess

I found these today, I thought they were funny so I thought I would share:
(There was actually 101 of these, I just picked the ones I thought were funniest.)

Things NOT to say during Sex

1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Person 1: This is your first time..right?
Person 2: Yeah.. today
7. Can you please pass me the remote control?
8. Do you accept Visa?
9. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
10. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
11. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
12. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
13. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
14. Got any penicillin?
15. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
16. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
17. When is this supposed to feel good?
18. Did I remember to take my pill?
19. This would be more fun with a few more people...
20. You're almost as good as my ex!
21. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
22. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
23. Hic! I need another beer for this please
24. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
25. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain! (This one sounds like it could have been McCoy)


I decided today that I want to go bowling. Does anyone do that anymore? I think it's a good way to let out aggression, anger, whatever. Pretending the pins are someone's head is always fun too. Anyone want to go with me? Mike? Elliot? Anybody?

This is how I have been feeling:

Not to worry though, things will be better soon. I was FINALLY able to track down my partner. Seems he's been having a worse bout of the FUNK than I have. He didn't tell me what was wrong but something definitely is. We have plans to go out to eat soon. Hopefully I can make him feel better, or at least forget about what is troubling him for an evening. What can I say, I hate seeing the big goof down. I'll even suck it up and go to that smelly Wang's he likes so much. YECK!
Anyway, busy day ahead of me, guess I should get started.

The response

This is Munch, leave a message, unless you're part of the secret, Government cover-up *BEEEEEP*

"Munch, it's Barek. Got your message. Thanks. I appreciate what you said but the truth is you don't owe me an explanation. It's not like we're married, heck we haven't even had but one date, you're free to do whoever, I mean whatever you choose. If I hadn't had such an odd week, I probably wouldn't have gotten upset. Uh-secret government cover-up? Cute."
*Click*

The message

"This is Barek, you know what to do" *BEEEEEEP*

Barek, it's Munch. I failed to tell you why I was upset. I got scared. I didn't want to care too much and have something bad happen. I know that probably doesn't make much sense but it is how I felt. I was scared so I pushed you away. I guess I thought I would hurt you before you could hurt me. I never gave us a chance. I have to go, Huang wants to see me for some reason.
*Click*

The phone call

"Hello, This is Barek...Hello?"
Um, Carolyn?
"Yes"
This is Munch.
"Uh huh"
Don't hang up.
"I'm not quite THAT rude. What can I do for you?"
I, uh, just wanted to tell you something.
"I'm listening."
I was upset, so I got drunk...and...she didn't mean anything to me...I don't even know her name.
"That supposed to make me feel better?"
No, I don't guess it would. I just wanted to let you know.
"Okay, now I know."
I wasn't upset with you, I was just upset.
*SILENCE* (Not a lot I could say to that)
Are you still there?
"Yes."
I did try to call you first, but the line was busy.
"So this is my fault?"
That's not what I meant. It's just...I've been hurt real bad in the past and I have these trust issues.
"Yeah, me too. Great job helping me overcome them." (Yeah I know, that was probably a bit cold.)
*His turn to be silent*
"You know John, it wasn't me."
What are you talking about?
"Whoever hurt you before, it wasn't me."
I know that.
"Really? Because it feels like I'm being punished for someone else's mistakes. "
I..uh...
"I got to go."
Oh, okay...Um Carolyn?
"Yeah?"
I'm sorry.
*Click*



On a positive note, with all this nonsense going on I was able to put that whole Lydia/Robbie thing out of my mind. Come to think of it, Robbie got hurt because he trusted the wrong person too. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm heading out for something to drink. Maybe I can find some young, hot male with no name.

My heroes...

... are Elliot and George. They were so nice to me last night. Both offered to come by if I wanted them too. It was a sweet of them, but I decided that probably wasn't such a good idea**. Elliot listened to me whine over the phone and George left about 10 messages. (Yes, I did return his calls.) I didn't have the ingredients for Irish Coffee or a Taz drink and I ran out of ice cream around midnight. I ended up watching one of The Lord of the Rings DVDs. Return of the King to be exact. It is my favorite in the trilogy. Aragorn is very nice looking! Of course I am no longer able to watch anything with a sword in it without thinking about Elliot's "big ass" sword. Which was a good thing last night because it made me feel better.
I'll be okay. It may take a few days, but I will get through this!

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"
So true because I had the opportunity to see how caring some of the guys can be.

**To be clear: It wasn't that I minded them dropping by, but John was already upset with me and I figured me spending the evening alone with two unmarried men would not help the situation. However, had I known then what I know now, I would have let them come.

Why?

The past few days have been, strange I guess would be the word for it. I can't seem to do anything right. I think Munch is mad at me, that is just what I need. Leave it to me to screw up a relationship before it even gets started good. And where the hell is Logan? I havent been able to get in touch with him. Maybe I'll look for Elliot instead.
Anyway, none of this is your problem. I had a minute so I thought I would post something. Now I can't even get my thoughts together to do that. Hope everyone has a good night. I'll be back sometime.

Munch shared something with me today.

He told me about a reporter he had really cared about several years ago. She had been raped and he worked her case. Apparently they got pretty close. Then before the case went to court, she was murdered. I could tell it hurt him to talk about it. I felt so bad. It must be awful to lose someone like that. He said it was the first time he had really talked about it since it happened. I'm still not sure why he decided to tell me, but I'm glad he did.

Hmmm...

I can't be positive without further research, but I think Elliot's is bigger. ;)






PS: Have I mentioned how happy I have been lately?

I'm tired of coming up with titles

Nothing major going on today. I had a lot of paperwork to do. I wonder why my "to do" stack never seems to get any smaller?
My weekend was nice. I had an interesting time with my surprise guest. I promise to give some details about it, but that will have to wait for another day. Today's project is worrying about Logan. He has been acting weird lately. It's probably just me. I worry too much some days. I got to go, the phone won't quit ringing.