Carolyn Barek

> >> > What Made Me Me
> > >> >
> > >> > Long ago and far away,
> > >> > In a land that time forgot,
> > >> > Before the days of Dylan,
> > >> > Or the dawn of Camelot.
> > >> > There lived a race of innocents,
> > >> > And they were you and me,
> > >> > Long ago and far away
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > Oh, there was truth and goodness
> > >> > In that land where we were born,
> > >> > Where navels were for oranges,
> > >> > And Peyton Place was porn.
> > >> > For Ike was in the White House,
> > >> > And Hoss was on TV,
> > >> > And God was in His heaven
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > We learned to gut a muffler,
> > >> > We washed our hair at dawn,
> > >> > We spread our crinolines to dry
> > >> > In circles on the lawn.
> > >> > And they could hear us coming
> > >> > All the way to Tennessee,
> > >> > All starched and sprayed and rumbling
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > We longed for love and romance,
> > >> > And waited for the prince,
> > >> > And Eddie Fisher married Liz,
> > >> > And no one's seen him since.
> > >> > We danced to "Little Darlin'",
> > >> > And Sang to "Stagger Lee"
> > >> > And cried for Buddy Holly
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > Only girls wore earrings then,
> > >> > And three was one too many,
> > >> > And only boys wore flat-top cuts,
> > >> > Except for Jean McKinney.
> > >> > And only in our wildest dreams
> > >> > Did we expect to see
> > >> > A boy named George, with Lipstick
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > We fell for Frankie Avalon,
> > >> > Annette was oh, so nice,
> > >> > And when they made a movie,
> > >> > They never made it twice.
> > >> > We didn't have a Star Trek Five,
> > >> > Or Psycho Two and Three,
> > >> > Or Rockey-Rambo Twenty
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,
> > >> > And Chester had a limp,
> > >> > And Reagan was a Democrat
> > >> > Whose co-star was a chimp.
> > >> > We had a Mr.Wizard,
> > >> > But not a Mr.T,
> > >> > And Oprah couldn't talk, yet
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > We had our share of heroes,
> > >> > We never thought they'd go,
> > >> > At least not Bobby Darin,
> > >> > Or Marilyn Monroe.
> > >> > For youth was still eternal,
> > >> > And life was yet to be,
> > >> > And Elvis was forever,
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > We'd never seen the rock band
> > >> > That was Grateful to be Dead,
> > >> > And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson ,
> > >> > And Zeppelins weren't Led.
> > >> > And Beatles lived in gardens then,
> > >> > And Monkees in a tree,
> > >> > Madonna was a virgin
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > We'd never heard of microwaves,
> > >> > Or telephones in cars,
> > >> > And babies might be bottle-fed,
> > >> > But they weren't grown in jars.
> > >> > And pumping iron got wrinkles out,
> > >> > And "gay" meant fancy-free,
> > >> > And dorms were never coed
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > We hadn't seen enough of jets
> > >> > To talk about the lag,
> > >> > And microchips were what was left at
> > >> > The bottom of the bag.
> > >> > And hardware was a box of nails,
> > >> > And bytes came from a flea,
> > >> > And rocket ships were fiction
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > Buicks came with portholes,
> > >> > And side show came with freaks,
> > >> > And bathing suits came big enough
> > >> > To cover both your cheeks.
> > >> > And Coke came just in bottles,
> > >> > And skirts came to the knee,
> > >> > And Castro came to power
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > We had no Crest with Fluoride,
> > >> > We had no Hill Street Blues,
> > >> > We all wore superstructure bras
> > >> > Designed by Howard Hughes.
> > >> > We had no patterned pantyhose
> > >> > Or Lipton herbal tea
> > >> > Or prime-time ads for condoms
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > There were no golden arches,
> > >> > No Perriers to chill,
> > >> > And fish were not called Wanda,
> > >> > And cats were not called Bill.
> > >> > And middle-aged was thirty-five
> > >> > And old was forty-three,
> > >> > And ancient was our parents
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > But all things have a season,
> > >> > Or so we've heard them say,
> > >> > And now instead of Maybelline
> > >> > We swear by Retin-A.
> > >> > And they send us invitations
> > >> > To join AARP,
> > >> > We've come a long way, baby,
> > >> > From the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > So now we face a brave new world
> > >> > In slightly larger jeans,
> > >> > And wonder why they're using
> > >> > Smaller print in magazines.
> > >> > And we tell our children's children
> > >> > Of the way it used to be,
> > >> > Long ago, and far away
> > >> > In the Land That Made Me Me.
> > >> >
> > >> > --Author unknown
> >