I hate nights like tonight.

I ate WAY too much chocolate so I can't sleep. As I wander around my quiet house I am reminded how alone I feel. During the day I stay busy enough that it doesn't bother me, but the night, the night is another story. I really thought my life would be different than it is now. Not exactly sure how, just know I thought it would be different. I was never one that subscribed to the belief that you should get married right after school and live happily ever after. I always thought it was better to have a life between leaving your parent's and getting married. Which I did, but somewhere along the way I forgot to take the time to find the one. I guess I got too caught up in the career mode and failed to focus on the personal life. So here I sit, alone on yet another Friday night trying to decide where I went wrong. I've had dates and men I really liked. I mean liked well enough to want to make a life together but something always goes wrong. I'm not sure if men are intimidated by my job or if I am just not a likeable person. Not as in liked as a friend, but liked in that deeper intimate way.
Okay, I probably shouldn't write when I'm in this kind of mood. I need to find something to counteract the over dose of caffeine. Good thing I'm not on call anymore. And while I'm on that topic, I still don't know if I made the right choice, but there is no turning back now. Anyway, I need to go now.