Owner of a lonely heart

Hey Sweetie,
Another day filled with boring meetings. Thank goodness tomorrow is the last day, I don't think I could handle being here much longer. One of my associates commented that I seemed different, happier. He wanted to know why, so I showed him your picture. He said I was acting like a high school kid. I THINK he meant that as a compliment. Oh, if you don't mind ask Elliot if he can go out for drinks again when I get back. I'd like to talk to him. I guess I can just call him when I get home.
Time for another meeting. I miss you. I'll talk to you later.

Always,
JP

PS: 42 hours and counting.


He is so sweet. I think I'm smitten!

Only the lonely

Hey Sweetie,
I was wrong, TODAY was the longest day of my life. I don't remember my colleagues being so dull. Could be because I really don't want to be here. It was great to hear your voice last night. Sorry I woke you but I just couldn't wait any longer to talk to you. Did you get your tree put up? Maybe you can help me put mine up when I get back? That is if I can find it. I haven't had it up in years. They just announced my next meeting, I have to go. I'll call you in the morning.

Always,
JP

PS: I miss you.

This will be the longest week of my life. I think I need to go see Elliot or someone.

One is the loneliest number...

Hey sweetie,
This was the longest day of my life. Everything is so boring. I can hardly wait to get back. I keep your picture with me, that helps. That's not too creepy is it? How are things with you? Did you go see Elliot? Tell them I said hi. Anyway, I need to go. I have another meeting tonight, I will call if it doesn't run to late.
Always,
JP

I kept myself busy by cleaning the house and rearranging some furniture. I now have the perfect spot to put my Christmas tree. Putting up the tree will probably be tomorrow's project.
It's only been one day and I already miss him like crazy.

I'm bored

JP had some kind of ortho convention so he is out if town. I won't get to see him for an entire week. I don't know if I can handle that or not. We can stay in contact via email and he said he would call me It won't be the same though. I guess it will give me time to do things I have been neglecting lately. Still, I'm going to miss him.

Thanksgiving with JP's family went better than I expected. I was nervous when we got there but I relaxed pretty quickly. They are a nice family. The food was really good and I ate way too much. His sister tried to talk me into going shopping with her today but I declined. I really have no desire to fight all those crowds just to save a couple of dollars. I found out later he had told her how much I hate shopping and when she asked she was just being funny. They were treating me like family. Why does that scare me to death?

Almost time

Tomorrow is the big day. I get to meet the parents. I told JP how nervous I have been about it. He assured me things would be fine and that everyone would love me. He made some comment like How could they not love you Carolyn? He also told me he would understand if I chose not to go. I am still nervous but I am going. I will let everyone know how it goes. Today I have to go to the store, which I hate. This is not a good week to be out in the stores!
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I wanna be sedated

I agreed to have Thanksgiving with JP and his family. I'm more than a little nervous. I don't always do well around a bunch of people I don't know. I have met his sister and her husband. The rest of the family I have only heard about. Who knows how many people will be there?! I wonder how mad he would be if I changed my mind about going?

Thanks to my I-wonder-why-I-put-up-with-him best friend, I got to spend the evening babysitting a drunken orthodontist, who thought he was Irish. It went a little something like this:
"No, your name is not Danny Boy and I won't call you that." I have to remember NOT to let Elliot and JP play together anymore.
"Thank you, but I'm not Irish and my name isn't Rose." I guess it's good they got along though. Maybe that means Elliot really is happy for me.
"Oh no! Don't do that in my flowers!" Oh yeah, he will pay for this!
He finally passed out on the couch. Guess it was a good thing he didn't have any early appointments scheduled.

I don't know what is wrong with me. I really like JP, a lot, more than I have liked anyone in a very long time. Well, almost anyone. He is very good to me. It scares me how great things are. I'm afraid of getting hurt again. I know I shouldn't think about things like that but with my bad relationship history, I have to be realistic about it. I should probably talk to him about this because I really want this to work out. I'm whinier than normal today, maybe I'm coming down with something!

The night the Earth stood still

Our meal with Elliot and Liv went better than I expected. I don't know what I was so worried about. I got to play with Eli. This was the most time I had spent with him and I loved it . He is a very good kid. Almost made me want to have one. JP seemed to enjoy playing with him too.
We had lasagna, one of my all time favorites. Elliot cooked, yes he really can cook. The food was wonderful. It was nice to spend time over there and not feel uncomfortable or out of place. I know I shouldn't be that way, but I am what I am.
Elliot said he was happy for me, I don't think he meant it, but he was trying. By the end of the evening I think he had warmed up to JP. Why wouldn't he? JP is terrific. He is smart, funny, good looking and he is easy to talk to. After we left he (JP) told me how much fun he had and how much he liked my friends. He even suggested we return the favor one day. What a great guy. I never thought I would find someone else I could talk to and depend on.

Cookie Duster

"I don't know if this is such a good idea. I want you to meet them but, I just don't know."
Oh, it will be fine. I promise I'll be good.
"It's not you I'm worried about."
What do you mean?
"Huh, oh nothing."
I didn't realize I said that out loud. JP and I are going to eat at Elliot and Liv's tonight. I told them I would bring cookies. I made peanut butter and chocolate chip ones. I hope they like them.
"I hope you like them."
The cookies or your friends?
"Both. Either. Whichever."
I'm sure I'll love them. The cookies because you made them. Your friends because you like them and that is good enough for me.
"What a sweet thing to say."
What are you so worried about?
"Nothing. Everything. It's just Elliot and I are very close. We helped each other through some very dark times. I just...It's nothing, I'm just being silly. We'll have a great time. Thanks for being okay with going."
Think nothing of it. I've been looking forward to meeting them.

Bittersweetheart

“Lunch, gee I’m not sure I can.”
“But I found a new way to drink coffee without waiting for the brewing process.”
I laughed, “Well that would be worth hearing about, but I’m busy today.”
He hesitated, then asked, “OK, how about tomorrow?”
“Elliot, how about if I call you and let you know? I’ll talk to you soon, OK?”
Click.
Who was that?
"Elliot"
Who?
"Elliot. My best friend, I told you about him.
Your former partner?
"No, that was Mike."
Oh. The paranoid one you dated?
"No, that was Munch."
The lawyer you dated?
"No, that was McCoy."
What is it with you and "M" people?
"Hahaha."
I remember now, he's THAT one.
"Yeah, he's that one."
What did he want?
"He wanted me to go to lunch with him. I told him I couldn't."
Was he upset?
"I doubt it. Why would he be? He's my friend, he understands how it is."

I suddenly had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if he WAS upset. I didn't exactly give him a chance to respond. I've never turned down spending time with him. I hope nothing was wrong. I don't think I even asked him if he was okay. If there was an emergency he would have told me, wouldn't he? I can't worry about this right now.

You know you could've ask him to go with us, Carolyn. Carolyn? HELLO? HEY BAREK!
"Huh? What? Sorry, I guess I was deep in thought."
No kidding? I said, you could've ask him to go with us. I would really like to meet him.
"Take Elliot with us on a date? You don't think that might be a little awkward? Doesn't matter he wouldn't have went anyway. Besides, you'll meet him soon enough. Did I forget to mention we are going over there for dinner one night?"
That should prove interesting.
"You think so?" He's so cute when he's being coy. That smile makes my toes tingle.

Natural thing

Is there anything better than a cup of hot chocolate? Yes, a cup of hot chocolate with someone special. JP just left. The smell of his cologne is still lingering. What a nice feeling.

Crazy

Since I'm afraid Ames might hunt me down, I thought I should give a few details about the new man in my life.
His name is JP, I'm not going to tell you what is stands for so don't ask. He goes by JP. ;) He's not involved in any type of law enforcement. We met while I was on a bad date with someone else. It was at a business-type party and my date decided to spend his evening hitting on some blonde in a short skirt. I didn't know anyone else there so I sat at a table in the corner. JP walked by a couple of times before he spoke. He claims he kept chickening out. We talked for a while and the rest, as they say, is history.
Let's see what else might you want to know about him? Oh what he looks like! He looks like a younger version of this guy on a TV show I used to watch...

Sweet emotion

What a wonderful weekend. Dinner and dancing last night. Brunch and an afternoon movie today. He's too good to be true. He reminds me of someone, I can't quite place who. I am surprisingly comfortable with him though. It's weird and wonderful and I hope it lasts.

Amazing

I met a guy. He asked me out. We had a wonderful time. When he kissed me good night, my toes curled. He called me earlier and we talked for about an hour. He has a great phone voice. We are going out again tonight. I can't stop smiling.

Sometimes I need reminded-

An email I received:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Not a whole lot going on around here. I had yet another bad date and I'm now thinking of joining a convent. Halloween was uneventful. I had a few little ghouls and goblins drop by. I have WAY too much candy left over so now I have to try and not eat it. Anyone want to chocolate?
I have to start back to work in a couple of weeks. It'll be good to be out and about again but I'm going to miss all this free time. I was able to catch up with some old friends and I even got the house cleaned cleaner. I think that is all that is going on.
So, what is happening in your life?